Burning Brighter

Political Agendas and Marketing

I am a pro-capitalist, I am a pro-reformist and I support Foreign Direct Investment in certain sectors, by adding the word ‘certain’ I may not be the liberal you were hoping for me to be but I am quite afraid of private individuals and companies being responsible for weapons and defence equipment instead of the defence ministry, even though all our defence equipment is imported, giving it all away directly, seems a bit stupid. Other sensitive issues like nuclear energy and 100% FDI in banks also seem like mistakes which thankfully our nation still hasn’t made and hopefully never will.

Reliance’s new AK-66: Best way to get duniya in mutthi

I am not anti-anything, I believe that no particular economic reform is perfect, I also admit that no political party is perfect. The idea is to choose what suits the current scenario, the current troubles and the problems being faced by the nation. Reading the manifestos of almost all political parties has made me realise one thing: They don’t know shit about what really the problem is. However, manifestos are usually vague and written by interns who talk about Poonam Pandey on Twitter. One party is on about how they want to develop the nation (but they’re the same one’s who are against FDI’s) the other one is on about Empowering Women and the Right To Information Act.

For example: A certain political party yesterday published their manifesto with a point saying they would rename the country to “The United States of India”.

Thus, people who don’t read manifestos and just vote (About 90% of the Indian population who are not literate enough and/or are convinced at political rallies) make it ‘certain’ that the nation does not get a government which it deserves but the one which was good at marketing and convincing people through various other means (including illegal means) that the nation needs them.

Manifestos of political parties are kinda like Apple doing their iPhone introduction: Nobody notices anything because they are too excited about Jony Ive being in a different coloured t-shirt this time.

Politics is a business and not a reform-lead industry, it’s got all the essentials of a business, money, sex, corruption, work ethic, excessive competition, rebels, quitters. Politics is a profitable-fucking-business and with businesses there is no choice but to hard-sell the product or the service because in return you get the green from the customer. Marketing is therefore not a want but a necessity, to tell people who you are, what you are and what you provide. In case of politics the “customer” has to vote instead of handing out a bundle of cash. That’s where the difference begins and ends.

For example: The reason why political parties get celebrities to hard-sell them through any possible media channels (included but not limited to: social media) and an opportunity to run in the elections representing a certain constituency isn’t because they are good at politics, obviously. Celebrities are an extremely important marketing ploy. Since most of them don’t know about politics and how to run governmental operations, they act as the front-end, a spokesperson if I might say so. Celebrities are chosen depending on the political party’s agenda and manifesto and the demographics. Expensive analysts and marketing folks are appointed to figure this stuff out. Political parties are not as retarded as they seem, they have done their homework or atleast outsourced them to somebody. The idea of celebrities works almost always because people love celebrities and they would obviously vote for them if they had a chance to. Kinda like the recent someone representing a certain political party from a certain city in North India made it’s rounds on Twitter, you could see die-hard fans changing their political agenda to what the celebrity endorses. We. Love. Dem’. Celebrities.

I chose to major in marketing instead of finance for one simple reason, marketing basically creates an invaluable asset and a goodwill for a brand, company or in this case a political party, it tells people your agenda and makes them aware of your existence through various means. It is propaganda. The idea of not knowing how to scared me because at the end of the day marketing is just information and information is powerful.

“Tum mujhe khoon do, main tumhe Parle-G dunga.” How-Blood-Donation-Centers-Should-Market-Themselves

Political Stability, Developed vs. Developing and Economics

The most powerful man of the free-world, a term used for the President of The United States of America, he is, whoever he maybe, the supreme leader, the one who runs a super-power and yet the recent years have shown that even the most powerful man of the free-world cannot always win.

“The only things that interest me in the US are 2Pac and Ginsberg” - Vladislav Surkov

People of the United States have always been more interested in a more stable government mainly because stability in politics is good. Economic bills do not pop up randomly and social reform agendas are kept in check along with similar budgets and spendings of the nation which creates a more welcoming environment for investors and doesn’t catch the local corporate taxpayer or the individual taxpayer off-guard.

“Change. Yes. We. Can.” - Barack Obama

Things in India are different, things in India are a chaotic mess, the government has to keep a check on the different demographics and the fragmented population, thus making it nearly impossible to run a stable government with a socio-economically progressive agenda. Quotas, special-classes, reservations are the burning social issues along with the economic disparity of the nation. India as a country cannot have a stable government for even one single-term. Policies change with every term and budgets are handled differently every five years highlighting different issues, spending of the nation depends on various factors, especially due to India being geographically located in a hostile neighbourhood.

“Mumbai ko Shanghai bana denge” - Some Dude

People use the term ‘developed’ and ‘developing’ to define nations. In the example above, picked up from a manifesto of a political party, it is simply stated that Shanghai is better than Mumbai and that it is time for Mumbai to develop, I personally believe that using the words ‘developed’ and ‘developing’ to define nations is ridiculous due to the term being bastardised so often. I prefer using the term “emerging economy/market” for a country which is on the brink of becoming an economic superpower.

“Mukesh Ambani ko arrest karenge” - Arvind Kejriwal

Defining a superpower is difficult, there are the economic superpowers, there are military superpowers and then there are the nations which have a lot of crude oil. Defining ‘developed’ is equally hard. Developed means more stable and less volatile, in the broad sense. In short, developed is more boring, where sharks with money don’t like going. Emerging markets on the other hand are extremely volatile and unpredictable,

For Example: When you compare the property prices which technically should be higher in countries which are developed, you find that it strangely doesn’t work like that. The economic recession pointed out a very clear fact which people strangely fail to admit even now: Property for one is a market based on demand and supply. It may not be that if you buy something more expensive that it may fetch you a higher price when you sell it. Thus, the ROI (Return on Investment) is extremely important. The percentage is what is real, everything else is shit covered with shit frosting. I can probably end up with a higher ROI in a Tier-II city in an emerging market than I can in New York.

ROI Calculator

Most people believe that a political change can have a deep effect on an economy. Although true, like most things pertaining to economics it comes with a huge list of terms and conditions. The four most important things I have learnt in Economics 101 are:

  1. The change is never immediate. (Immediate changes are actually bad, they make investors uneasy = bad for economy)

  2. Economic policies are not to please everybody they are to please the majority. (Just like how Starbucks cannot please everybody with their coffee)

  3. You can never, ever, ever, win the confidence of an investor immediately (It is the exact same thing as trying to build a brand. It’s never an overnight process)

  4. You can have the best economic policies in place but if you don’t have the right people in the government (in the right offices) your country will fall like a house of cards.

Say the following words outloud to get women interested in you: “Inflation, deflation, vicious circles, FDI, FIR, central banks, private banks, mutual funds, central government, Unions, privatisation, public sector, imports, exports, gini index, IMF, World Bank, Morgan Stanley, Economic Downturn, recession.”

So Who Do You Support?

The toughest decision I have faced is what to have at Starbucks the first time I went there. However with the elections coming soon I have to agree it is extremely difficult to see your political ideologies being reflected in candidates and politician parties.

Here is my problem: I don’t see a regionalist becoming a clear-winner, I don’t see a socialist being able to even persuade enough people to standup and agree with his view points and I don’t see The Pizza Yojna becoming a possibility after what has happened in the last eight years.

The government which is capable enough to handle economic reforms and make decisions extremely fast and chalk up policies in a matter of weeks instead of months is what the nation needs right now. With the Indian economy opening and mixing homogeneously with the global economy we need to be fast to respond to changes as a nation and we need educated and capable people. Inflation, global uncertainty, valuation of the Indian Rupee are currently keeping both the current government and the Central Bank Chief quite busy these days. We need a government which cannot only match the competence of the current government but also do much, much better. I still haven’t figured out who is capable enough, sadly. It is going to be an interesting turn of events and the different alliances formed to get the 51% at the parliament is going to be fun to watch.

What Does The Prime Minister Say? - Ylvis ft. Honey Singh.


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